Help.

I'm starting to be comfortable with myself, comfortable with the experiences that i've been through, comfortable with my life stories. I can carry on from here.



When i made the choice of seeing a counselor, i knew i needed help, or at least, i wanted to stop feeling inadequate. Before i came to that decision, i was still hoping that someone, or even some strangers would stop for a while and listen. I had so much to share, about my life. I longed for a listening ear. No one did just that. Not that anyone owes me anything. I thought it was just humane to do that.



I took an atypical route of recovery because i took the initiate and asked for it. I did it because i just wanted the whole thing to end and something deeper was calling for a U-turn. You know it's until very recently that i'm OKAY with talking to people. Why? Because it was just tough. I was suffering from depression and no one was there, or should i say, no one had the right experience to help. People suffering from this illness will never believe you when you tell them things are getting alright because depression itself isn't! I didn't believe. When everyone told me it's time to get back to work and stuff, i didn't want to do that. All of you tried to make me talk, make me feel loved, but i never did. I denied it not because i wanted to, but because i genuinely didn't believe i could ever make it through. Everyday it hurts. Everyday. No one understood. I didn't either.



I strongly believe that no one should go through helplessness of that magnitude ever in their life. Don't you think so? Everyone of us, every single one of us living in this world deserves a better life. When we are born into this world, the decisions have been made for us. We just have to realise that inner compassion in the real world. Why were the whole world shaken when tsunami struck? Why so many people stood up against terrorism after 911? Why would the brutal military rule in Myanmar be exposed so much to the rest of the world after a Japanese reporter was shot down during the riot suppress? Why would aid be at the priority list of UN agenda if not for the fact that millions of children are dying due to starvation or malnutrition? Why? why? why? because we all deserve to lead a better life. And there's no need to compare one's suffering with the other because everyone is dealing with their own challenges.



Help should be everywhere. Hands should be everywhere. People are everywhere but hugs and shoulders are seldom selflessly everywhere. So how do you help?

Be there, that's all. Be there. Tell them straight off their faces that you're there. Don't sms or use internat chat. Call the person up and tell them you care and you're there, and stop judging, stop giving your advice, stop telling them how things should be done, stop the condemning, guilt-inducing and threatening. This is not an easy journey. Depression or any kind of illness is not a result of overnight loss or whatsoever. It must have been happening for long to create that impact, and it slowly builds up a protection wall that isolates them from the 'normal' world. And if you really care for and love them, be it someone slipping into it, suffering, recovering or recovered, then be patient. Be very patient. Find out what's happening. Find out what your friends are going through. Try. You've gotta keep trying and trying and trying and not giving up until they open up to you. Try. Try to understand and don't pretend to. Don't get fed up or disappointed because for so long they have been struggling with themselves. They are fed up and disappointed with themselves and that's why they need your help. If you really do care, and really want to help, go with them to seek professional help. Drag them to one because the hurt is beyond the threshold. But be there.



If you really want to help, truly, you have to be prepared to spend a precious journey of your life creating an impact on your friends.



Everyone needs a turning point. If you know someone is suffering and you want to help, please do. And if you're the one suffering, know that healing is possible. It's very tough, i know, and it may seem far away, and almost not worth the try, but it is. I'm here. I had gone through hell and now i'm still alive, thinking positively, and trying to restart all over again. So please, do try, get help.



There are new things for me to learn everyday. It isn't simple reformatting your mindset and shaping that as you go along. Now i'm still searching for a new place to start everything all over again. There's still a journey for me. But it would be good when you see me next time, you could give me a hug and tell me how brave i am. That's all..